Covid Advice Column

Jaqlyn, Rhode Island:

Dear Advice Columnist,

What are you supposed to say when someone at work tells you they have covid?

Dear Jaqlyn,

There is no right or wrong answer to this question. It depends on how they tell you.

Coworker Bad: Guess what! I have Covid! I'm coming unmasked into work anyway because it's a conspiracy between Trump and Fauci rather than a real disease!

Coworker Good: I'm triple masking because I have Covid, and if they let me go home I'll work remotely until I test negative.

Coworker Neutral: I have COVID. Guess I'll stay home and do no work for the next few weeks.

Please appropriately use the following collection of responses:

1. It’s a good thing you are vaccinated, or else you would probably be dead.

2. Get well soon!

3. How are you feeling?

4. You’re a chinese plant.

5. Take invermectin.

6. But did you find out which variant?

7. When were you not wearing a mask and were exposed? COVID is preventable, you know.

8. I think you should be more worried about monkeypox.

9. Did you test PCR or rapid?

10. Can I come catch it from you?

Love,

Advice Columnist

(This is all fictional. Any resemblance to real life is purely accidental.)