Chickens
Link to deciding on a family pet: here
My friend N spent many summers as a teenager sorting between female and male chicks. She was telling me this because I had informed her that we were thinking about getting chickens.
🐔
I asked her what the difference was, and she said that one of them has two sets of wings and the other one has one set of wings. I did not bother to find out which was which, because unlike my hypocritical friend, I am not the kind of person who assumes gender based on how many wings a chick has.
I can proudly say that I have never decided which gender a chicken is purely by looking at them. Suppose you asked me what gender a chicken was, I would wait until they get a little bit older and see if they decide to lay eggs or not. Even then, I would ask them what they feel like they are. If they do not give me a clear response, I will explain to them that if they feel like they are female, they will want to eat mostly pink bugs, build nests, and have a lot of patience with chicks. If they feel like they are male, they will want to eat blue bugs, crow a lot, and never lay an egg. The choice is theirs.
So far this has worked for me very well. To be honest, we are just starting our chicken owning careers. I will let you know if it continues to work. Because our town has a policy that you can only own female chickens, we purchased adults who are already committed to being feminine and laying eggs.
To be honest, I was a bit pessimistic until the chickens showed up. I imagined multitudes of city rats, crowding around the chicken coop, biting my children, who would become sick with rabies. I imagined running after the chickens, trying to catch them, while neighbors pelted rocks at my back and bought themselves Burmese Pythons in revenge.
My husband said that the farmer asked him which chickens he wanted. Then the farmer pointed at one and said, "This is a friendly one." My husband wisely said, "We'll take that one." The farmer pointed to another, visually identical chicken, and said, "This is an unfriendly one." They took that one too. My husband tells me that it is immediately obvious upon handling them which one is the friendly one.
But the chickens are really beautiful. Since they came, they have huddled together in the darkest part of the coop. We put the food and drink on the bottom. I was very worried about smell and noise, but they have not made a peep since coming here, and they have not so much as pooped. This situation will change, but I enjoy it while it lasts. The kids are very excited and insist on playing right near the chicken coop. I actually see one chicken starting to twitch a little, so maybe it's getting comfortable.
Unless you tell them otherwise, people suppose that I am sitting quietly and peacefully writing this in my armchair, sipping a cup of pink lemonade, when I am not eating cookies. The reality is quite different. My husband went to Home Depot to get some childproof locks, while the chickens are still settling in, since the kids have an unhealthy interest in opening the doors. Here is a small sample of a conversation we have been having as I try to write this:
(Child drives very noisy toy car all over the chicken coop, which I imagine scares the chickens.)
Me: Child's name! Stop that right now! Okay? Do you want to go into time out? Do you want to have to be in the house all day? You must not scare the chickens. They just got here. They need time to adjust before you make noise around them. Or they won't come out and get food and water and then they'll die.
Child: (looks at me, a little surprised at the intensity of my reaction, to what child felt was some innocent toy car driving, and takes a couple steps away. )
Me: Thank you. Stay away from the coop, kids! No! (Another child's name) don't do that! You're scaring the chickens! Try driving in front of me over here.
I will not be sharing their names here. Chickens cannot give consent to having their names shared with the public.