Fake Instagram Post

#1

(Written shortly before Passover. Please imagine a picture of a mother, looking perfectly happy and put together, sitting on a nice clean kitchen floor, peeling potatoes into a huge, shiny pot, wearing cheerful, tasteful, and modest clothing)

I lack Instagram, but I do not lack the desire to show off my glamorous looks and activities, at least anonymously. This is purely to inspire you and make your day happier and not because I just feel like it. So I attached a picture of myself peeling potatoes this morning.

Please do not be jealous of the large shiny pot, how we can afford all those potatoes, (both sweet and regular), my hiring help to watch the kids so I can cook, and the clean kitchen floor. My wonderful children, N(3) and M(1), helpfully put some of the peeled potatoes into the water for me. Call me for tips on how to be an effective parent to wild toddlers. #parentcoach #sidehustle

I am wearing comfortable, modest and colorful clothes passed up from my little sister #girlpower. Except for the shell, she would never wear peach but it's my #favoritecolor. The weather is gorgeous and my wonderful husband took this pic. Despite being stressed about Passover, we are #bonding #notfighting. He has been cooking all morning and we will soon go on a delightful family trip to a place called Hahvahd Yahd, where we will pay a lot of money (we even have some left after all those potatoes) to provide our kids a brand new space to crawl around making trouble.

#jealousyisasin #contactmeforafreeconsult

#makeyourlife awesome.

Okay, I feel like I did a pretty good job being vapid and idiotic