Microplastics theory

Anytime someone is worried about microplastic in the environment, and how it is altering our innards and changing our chemical makeup and messing with the balance of nature in general, consider thinking about this:

Many plastic particles are resistant to radiation. The more microplastic making up your body, the more resistant you may be to nuclear fallout. Microplastics may possibly protect organs from damage from radiation. Perhaps the best way to protect yourself from nuclear war is to make sure that you consume a lot of micro plastic.

I hope you found this reassuring. Instead of worrying about nature changing slowly through the introduction of plastic, or quickly through nuclear warfare, you can be among the sophisticated elite who know the really important thing to worry about: whether there is enough micro plastic in your body to resist radiation from nuclear fallout.