Poem: Your Child Needs an...

Evaluation!

People have suggested that I do stand up comedy. This is a terrible idea, because I want to be taken seriously as a cook, biblical scholar, poet, songwriter, mother, wife, Isha Yiras Hashem, chicken owner, expert in children with special needs, scientist, secretary, professor, lifeguard, teacher, therapist, doctor, spiritual leader, seamstress, housekeeper, anonymous internet poster, flylady follower, and American Citizen. It is not my fault that I also have a sense of humor. This won't help me be taken seriously, but maybe it will make a parent out there smile.

And without further ado

Your child needs an evaluation:

My child is imperfect, so we got a recommendation,

To put our little darling through an evaluation,

Because their behavior may be a manifestation,

Of needing extra help to reach graduation.

As parents we seek from each other admiration,

And most helpful is making a loud proclamation,

That our child is scheduled for their evaluation,

Labeling their problem is the best affirmation!

It's not about psychologist job creation,

Although the cost does increase faster than inflation,

Nor is it a form of peaceful family recreation,

Although the drive there will suffice for the duration.

In order to be a parent worthy of emulation,

I will need to gather for each child all the information

And fill out all the forms at every work station,

In order to get professional confirmation.

If your children get into an altercation,

Or you feel they need to raise their aspirations,

Or you just want an expensive 4 hour vacation,

Why don't you get them an evaluation?

Is your child causing people around you frustration?

And contributing to general classroom degradation?

For life, our children must develop the firmest foundations

So I hope you've scheduled your kids for evaluations!