Movie Review: IMAX at the Aquarium

Yes, IYH watched another movie

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Yesterday, we took the kids to the aquarium, which we do around once a week. We have a membership. At the aquarium, there are jellyfish, sharks, and sea lions. Sometimes you can touch a manta ray. This time, we tried something different at the aquarium: an IMAX movie.

As you know, I think watching movies is a waste of time, unless performed by G-d, like thunderstorms. Therefore, I don't watch movies. The IMAX counts as a movie because I have to sit still and stop talking for 45 minutes. But I made (another) one-time exception, because the IMAX is about G-d's underwater creations.

You needed to wear special glasses, which made it look three-dimensional. "Three-dimensional" means that the IMAX has unbelievably realistic underwater imagery. The whales swam uncomfortably close to our seats, and there were moments when it seemed like a shark was about to eat me. It feels safer without the glasses.

They began by stating that, for centuries, people believed the ocean was full of predators. Believe it or not, those ignorant people had never actually studied the ocean scientifically, so they did not know the truth.

The scientific truth is that the ocean is not teeming with predators. Scientists have discovered that, at worst, the ocean is populated by innocent, friendly, and endangered sharks.

They seemed to be saying that these loving, gentle sharks try their best to subsist on seaweed, but eventually, they become extremely hungry and are compelled to eat meat. Even then, and it's possible I misunderstood, sharks prefer to wait until their prey is near death from old age before eating them. (I may be wrong about some or all of this. Check with your local marine biologist.)

Unfortunately, there is a rule that you're not allowed to talk during movies, so I couldn't ask the people sitting near me. So I probably won't watch it again and find out what they actually said because that is too hard for me. Thank You, G-d, for letting me talk during thunderstorms.

Camouflage is when things try to blend into the background. We were shown some examples. Unlike the featured creatures, I wasn't fooled and could easily spot the fish that were hiding through camouflage. I could even offer them lessons in observation. I felt genuinely sorry for the fish that got eaten on screen. It must have been a traumatic experience.

But fish get eaten in the ocean all the time. The scientists explained that generally, larger fish eat smaller fish. This reminded me of a conversation I had with one of my kids, who asked why we need to have a government. I responded that without government, people would devour each other alive, like fish in the ocean eat each other alive. I didn't make this up. The part about people devouring each other alive is a direct quote from the Ethics of the Fathers.¹

We saw huge garden eels, over two meters long, feeding on plankton (possibly also alive), and transparent shrimp, which were not entirely transparent. I know all about transparent shrimp. We once had an invisible shrimp in our fish tank, but it got eaten by the assassin snail.

They didn't interview even one fish. Meanwhile, human beings went so far as to insist that, in the ocean, predators and prey often coexist peacefully and even cooperate to help each other. It would be more equitable to provide both predators and prey with proper representation, rather than having well-meaning but ultimately inexperienced land dwellers speaking for them.

Speaking of land dwellers, I felt a bit jealous of the appreciation shown to mother otters. They have endless patience. Their young ones wake up early and demand attention. Feel free to praise me in a movie. I regularly wake up at 4 am with my kids, and it is only a slight exaggeration to say that I have endless patience.

The blue whale is the largest animal ever to have lived, and it sustains itself on tiny creatures called krill. If krill were to disappear, thousands of other animals would vanish as well. What could cause such a disappearance? Human overfishing. Thankfully, humans have established national parks that protect them. Thanks to humans, endangered sea turtles are making a strong comeback.

In conclusion, if humans continue to model good behavior such as responsible fishing practices and ocean conservation, we will all continue to enjoy long lives roaming the tranquil seas. Don't worry about the sharks.

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