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Plumber's avatar

> “ What do you think about aspirational materialism? “

I strongly suspect that I’m guilty of it

> “ Do you agree with my thoughts on it? “

Yes

> “ Have you been disappointed with a purchase? “

I’ve often found that I’ve bought more than one copy of the same book, and I feel foolish, lately though the unending repairs that my motorcycle needs has me vexed

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Isha Yiras Hashem's avatar

Well, me too! It's just being human! But at least we have words for it now.

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Isha Yiras Hashem's avatar

I've also been thinking about how maintenance is under estimated as a form of financial stress. Everything we have must be cared for.

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Isha Yiras Hashem's avatar

May I quote this response in my next post?

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Plumber's avatar

Sure, please feel free

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WeDoTheodicyInThisHouse's avatar

This post floats my boat!!

I'll share a purchase-that-disappointed-me story since you asked:

Background: I felt pretty secure about my not-buying stuff skills: We lived sort of on the "sparse" side of things (with regards to finances) for years, and I shopped Thrift Stores and we filled our house with love.

However, way back in 2010 or whenever, there was a definite breach to my memetic defenses!!

The Facebook ad for "Tieks" GOT to me! Leather shoes, (in vivid colors) probably well-made, with teal soles. Or teal-colored stuff in the soles. In a word: Memorable. Lil' ticking time bomb of an, ahem, image... that sat in the back of my brain for like... 13 years??

When I finally felt I had the opportunity, I drooled all over their website, and then had another idea & clicked my way elsewhere.. aaaaaand... ordered a USED pair of Tieks via a consignment store's* website (for half the price they'd be new) sight-unseen. (Turns out that size 8 Tieks were not right for me!!)

* I still have a high interest in occasionally getting things from consignment stores, and may yet again! Not inherently bad or anything.

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Isha Yiras Hashem's avatar

What's fascinating here is how long that desire persisted - 13 years! - only to end in disappointment! Advertising can be so powerful! Also, thrilled to see you again. May I quote this response in my next post?

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WeDoTheodicyInThisHouse's avatar

> May I quote this response in my next post?

Awww! Yes, you sure can!

(Except now that I said "you can," I have an echo of my mom's voice in my head reminding me that "can" and "may" mean different things; I'd ask "Mom, can I do X?" and she'd say, "CAN you? I don't know if you CAN. But you MAY.")

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WeDoTheodicyInThisHouse's avatar

1. i made small edits so as to not have "consignment store" 2x in the same sentence!

1b. said sentence now reads: "clicked my way to another website I'd learned of.. aaaaaand... ordered a USED pair of Tieks via a consignment store's* website (for half the price they'd be new) sight-unseen." Now it has "website" 2x. brb, editing again!

2. YES, advertising can be INSANELY-powerful. Thinking about that a bunch right now, in another context.

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WeDoTheodicyInThisHouse's avatar

Also, my husband said "Are you sure?" before I bought them. I was annoyed at him: I WAS very sure! (How could I not be sure after I had waited so long?) So I bought them.

Only to find out they were too small.

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Ben Hoffman's avatar

It's easier to cure vices if we can more precisely understand what they are, and what sort of misunderstanding they represent. What you're calling "materialism" seems to me like charismatic consumerism.

Consumerism - the ideology that personal problems are to be solved by buying goods and services.

Charismatic - we can attain some abstract attribute by consuming some of the substance of a greater being with that attribute.

In all the cases you mentioned, it seems to me that the sufferer might profitably try to tease out two separate motives: the desire to be associated in others' minds with a certain attribute or behavior, and the object-level need for the thing itself.

If all we want is to be associated with the idea of health, then we want to empathetically investigate how the others around us form their feelings about healthiness, in order to efficiently create the relevant halo effect manipulation. If we want to actually have more energy available to our bodies day to day, to alleviate pains, to function better for longer, etc, then we would do better to investigate the causes of those phenomena, instead of looking for things socially haloed as healthy.

Likewise, if you want to be perceived as a great scholar, you should figure out who your audience is and how they form their conclusions, and then learn the rhetoric or acquire the costume or credentials to generate the desired conclusion in their minds. If you want to know what's true in the texts, that suggests another approach entirely.

The trap you describe is a form of narcissism: confusing something of independent worth, with how you imagine others think of you.

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Isha Yiras Hashem's avatar

Okay, I keep on thinking about your comment. I can kind of see how what I'm saying sounds similar to obtaining qualities through purchases, but I think i'm trying to say something more spiritual. I'll think about it over Shabbat. Anyway. May I quote this response in my next post?

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Ben Hoffman's avatar

Sure, & general permission to quote anything I’ve published, including comments like this one. Only private communication is worth asking about :)

שבת שלום

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Ranjit K. Sharma's avatar

Beautifully expressed, Isha! This resonates deeply with the Indian understanding of maya—how even "permissible" indulgences can quietly take control if we are not mindful. True holiness is not about just following rules but about maintaining awareness and restraint before desires start dictating our choices.

It also reminds me of something I once shared: spirituality and humanism are interconnected, while religiosity, when reduced to rigid rule-following, can create barriers between us and the Divine. A God-fearing life is not about ticking off boxes but about consciously choosing what brings us closer to both the Divine and humanity. Sometimes, true devotion lies in breaking a rule for a higher cause—like the Sikh doctor who shaved his beard to serve his patients. In the end, what matters is not just discipline, but the intention behind it.

Loved this reflection!

Sharing my previous Tweets for context and reference:

✳️ https://twitter.com/spiritualitywr/status/1338161980100644865

✳️ https://twitter.com/spiritualitywr/status/1261965268827299840

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Isha Yiras Hashem's avatar

Thanks Ranjit! Can you tell me more about Maya? And may I quote this response in my next post?

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Ranjit K. Sharma's avatar

You might find this Wikipedia article on maya helpful: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Maya_(religion).

And yes, feel free to quote my previous response in your next post!

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Liba's avatar

I live in a fairly poor neighborhood. Even poor people want nice things. And candy and green soft drink for their kids. Our body is constantly pulling us down, our soul pulls us up. The Torah tells us to have them work together. Nice clothes for Shabbos, nice food, and yes, sometimes Hava Java. Of course!

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Isha Yiras Hashem's avatar

You make good points. May I quote this response in my next post?

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Liba's avatar

Sure! Put my name and Substack! (I need more traffic…hehe)

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Mercenary Pen's avatar

There's a relentlessness to the attention economy that is sometimes scary. Now that we have algorithms watching/hearing/analyzing every online movement, and probably a fair amount of offline movements too, the targeted ads have become powerfully effective. It's a personal shopper for you, all the time, but they're actually interested in you buying as much junk as possible, instead of just dressing you for success.

My parents have a golf cart. They ride it around this campground where they rent a spot for a trailer. It's incredibly fun. For whatever reason, I decided I needed a golf cart for my house. I started to scour the internet for deals. $2500+ for anything decent. I sort of mentally slapped myself. What in the world was I going to do with a golf cart besides drive from the barn to the house? I managed to wrest myself away from it and my algorithm still serves up the occasional golf cart ad to me.

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Isha Yiras Hashem's avatar

It's really invasive and it feels like I can't escape. May I quote this response in my next post?

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Mercenary Pen's avatar

Sure thing! But yeah feels inescapable. I’m thinking of doing a solo backpacking trip coming up just to feel what full disconnect is like again.

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