The Car Inspection

Part 2

Continued from Car Attention Deficit Disorder

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As you know, I have Car Attention Deficit Disorder, which means I have trouble paying attention to information about cars. At some point, however, it was explained to me that we need an inspection. I didn't really grasp why this was an emergency. But following the law is very important to me, and I didn't want to get any more tickets.

As I had feared all along, I had to go, by myself, in the car, and get it inspected. Also, it needed an oil change. Additionally, Proverbs 27:23 says that you should pay attention to your moving property: "Know well the condition of your flocks; give your attention to the herds.” We don't have sheep, but we do have moving property in the form of a car.

And so it was. I went to the Car Inspection Place for an inspection.

In case you're wondering how I picked this particular Car Inspection Place, I'll tell you. I am Not A Car Person. (Comorbid with my Car Attention Deficit Disorder.) If I had to inspect a car, I would at least explain to as many people as possible that I'm only here because I am very respectful of the law. That would be as Not A Car Person as it's possible for somebody living in the United States to be.

I carefully explained to the Car Inspection Person that I am here merely as a representative of the family, not of my own accord. The Car Inspection Person at The Car Inspection Place was delighted to do the inspection without an appointment, and we soon had a new sticker. Surprisingly, our car had passed the inspection.

Mind you, the car was a mess. There was garbage, toys, laundry, and all sorts of junk on the floor. I wasn't too impressed with this inspection. How do you pass any kind of inspection with garbage on the floor? I didn't want to ask, because we already had a new sticker.

Then I remembered about the oil change. It turned out that oil changes, unlike car inspections, are by appointment only. Why is it that motors don't feel the need to prepare for an inspection, but they need a lot of time to prepare for an oil change appointment? I puzzled over this for a bit.

Then I had to drive to Car Oil Change Place. At Car Oil Change Place, I immensely enjoyed myself. There were several Car Oil Change People, and they were all friendly, chatty, and helpful.

First, I humbly explained that they came highly recommended, so they must do a good job in this Car Oil Change Place. They should also know that, out of necessity, I only started driving after my second child was born. Also, I don't know anything about cars.

Car Oil Change People know how to open up the insides of the car. They even know how to turn off the maintenance light. And they know what everything is called.

One Oil Change Person enthusiastically started explaining everything to me so that "Next time you'll be more familiar with what we do at Car Oil Change Place." They even had a record of what we got last time, and they did exactly the same thing this time.

I found it surprising that Car Oil Change Place felt that our “motor air filter” needed to be replaced, for only $34.99. I didn't point out that, for $35.00, Car Inspection Place did an entire inspection and gave us a sticker, and didn't even recommend we change the motor air filter. That was half an hour ago.

The mysteries of cars continue to elude me. We had some issues with a wheel, or maybe it was all the wheels. Something became wobbly, and our car developed a severe allergy to lug nuts. Thankfully, the mechanic knew how to treat it.

I have never once cooked with lug nuts in my entire life, so I have no idea how the car became allergic to them.

I don't even know what they look like.

When I came home, I called my best friend. She knew what a lug nut was. I told her not to tell me.

Now you have learned everything I know about cars.