Day 3/8: The Latke-tostraphe Of Intermittent Fasting

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Day 1/8: Boris The Terrible Celebrates Hanukkah And Infiltrates Ohr Somayach

Day 2/8: Boris Is Inspired By the Greeks And Fixes The Dreidels

Day 3/8: The Latke-tostraphe Of Intermittent Fasting

Another year, Boris tried a different tack. He had learned at Ohr Somayach that Jews aren't supposed to refrain from eating or drinking on Hanukkah. He wondered if he could convince the Jews to fast, even on Hanukkah. Boris became enamored with the concept of intermittent fasting, and promoted it to the community of Chelm, via an advertising campaign.

Image: Boris the Terrible promotes intermittent fasting for Hanukkah

To his surprise, the Jews embraced the idea, initiating fasts on Mondays and Thursdays after Hanukkah. However, he soon discovered that this was already a longstanding Jewish practice.

Poor Boris. Boris had fasted all Hanukkah, hoping to get other people to copy him. Alas, his own fasting that year caused him to miss out on enjoying fresh Hanukkah treats. Now, he faced a year-long wait for a fresh latke, a true latke-tostraphe.¹

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If only he'd had my recipe for latkes, he could have made them himself. Which brings us to…

Isha Yiras Hashem's recipe for Latkes:

On the internet, every recipe requires an introduction. Please introduce yourself in the comments.

Welcome to the "I'm-pretty-sure-this-will-work" latke recipe! I made up this recipe, based on my potato kugel recipe, which is exactly the same, but baked in a pan instead of fried. My children have never complained. (Full disclosure: I haven’t gotten them to taste it yet.)

Now, don't get your hopes too high. This isn't the "best-ever" latke recipe. Nor is it an “easy-one-bowl” recipe. It's not even "super-crispy" or “spicy” or “widely acclaimed”. It is, however, naturally gluten and sugar free.

Optimistically, many people think of Isha Yiras Hashem’s Latke recipe as “more likely than not to be edible.”

If fried properly, there is no risk of food poisoning from the raw eggs. Other dangers include getting cut by the potato peeler, shredded by the grater, burned by the hot oil, and people repeatedly asking you how much longer it will be until they are ready. By making this recipe, you agree to the liability disclaimer below.

Ingredients and instructions:

Peel and grate a lot of potatoes (to taste), and an onion (to taste). Mix with eggs (to taste) and oil (also to taste.) Add salt and pepper to taste.

Fry in oil. When you get tired of frying, put the rest into a pan and bake it as potato kugel.

Liability Disclaimer for Isha Yiras Hashem's Latke Recipe:

1. General Disclaimer: This recipe is provided as a casual culinary guide by a non-expert cook. Isha Yiras Hashem assumes no responsibility for any mishaps, culinary disasters, or weight gain that may result from its use.

2. Skill Level: This recipe is intended for individuals with a basic understanding of cooking. If you're more likely to burn water than boil it, buy your latkes from the local kosher store instead.

3. Ingredient Variability: The quantities of ingredients listed are intended as suggestions. The user assumes full responsibility for any taste tests and final outcomes.

4. Kosher, Allergy and Dietary Restrictions: Users are responsible for ensuring the ingredients meet their personal requirements.

5. Kitchen Safety: Cooking involves heat, sharp utensils, and potentially slippery surfaces. Most importantly, it involves navigating around other humans who may be present. Exercise caution and common sense at all times.

6. Taste Expectations: Isha Yiras Hashem does not guarantee that the recipe will meet all taste preferences. Isha Yiras Hashem cannot be held responsible for individual levels of satisfaction or lack thereof. Cooking results may vary.

7. Health and Nutrition: This recipe is not intended as health or nutritional advice.

8. By using this recipe, you acknowledge and agree to these terms, and accept that your latkes are your own responsibility.

Next time…. Boris Hellenizes The Chocolate Coins!

Happy Hanukkah!

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1. This is a combination of the words “latke” and “catastrophe".