Was Esau As Nice As He Seems? 2/2
Guest Post: Rebbetzin Devorah Fastag
Rebbetzin Devorah Fastag, a respected author, scholar and lecturer in the Jewish community, authored this guest post, which will be published in two parts. This is part 2/2.
2/2 en español: aqui
Link to part 1: Was Esau as nice as he seems?
In Spanish - en Español: ¿Era Esaú tan bueno como parece?
Rebbetzin Fastag lives in Beitar. She is best known for the book "The Moon's Lost Light", explaining how feminine equality and many other changes of the modern era are related to the end of days. Thank you Rebbetzin Fastag.
-Isha Yiras Hashem at Substack
Continued from Part 1: Was Esau as nice as he seems?
X wrote:
Jacob stole his identity, to swindle a blessing out of his elderly disabled father.
Again, without a thoughtful reading, it does look that way. But when you see that Esau himself has been swindling his father all along, pretending to be righteous when he was wicked, it looks very different.
So let’s examine this closely. Was this really a swindle? Secondly, if it was, was it wrong to use dishonest methods to prevent a much worse swindling from taking place?
Let’s look at what happened. The ‘swindling’ wasn't Jacob's idea at all. In fact, the verse indicates that he very much did not want to do it.
The Torah tells us that Jacob protested to his mother that if he were discovered his father might curse him, but this is not the only reason why Yaakov didn’t want to attempt to take the blessings. As we were told earlier, Jacob is a *tam*, and a tam does not deceive. Jacob truly hated the idea of having to deceive his father. Yet, straightforward Jacob listens to his mother and takes the blessings Isaac intended for Esau.
Why?
Remember, Jacob had the right to the birthright, which Esau had scorned. But there were other reasons as well for Jacob taking the blessings Isaac had intended for Esau. Both Rebecca and Jacob understood that if Esau receives the blessings, he will misuse them to promote evil.
There was yet another reason why Jacob agreed to take the blessings Isaac had intended for Esau.
The oral tradition tells us that, when Jacob protests that his father might curse him rather than bless him, his mother tells him that it was told to her in prophecy that Jacob will not be cursed. (Genesis 27:13, see Onkelos for the Aramaic translation of the verse)
So what is Jacob to do? Rebecca, a prophetess, is telling him that this is G-d's will. And so despite the challenge this poses for Jacob's truthful nature, Jacob listens to his prophetess mother.
(*)
There is a rule that when G-d tests a person, it will be with his or her most difficult challenge. For most people, it will be a test of overcoming the evil inclination. For extremely righteous people, it could even be a test of overcoming one's good inclination. As an example, Abraham, the most kind and loving person around, was told to sacrifice his precious son on an altar. (Genesis 22:2) It was only a test; he was told at the last minute not to do it, but he was ready to obey. (Genesis 22:12)
So Jacob, whose very essence was truth, as stated in the verse, "You shall give truth to Jacob" (Micah 7:20), was tested by being told that G-d wants him to deceive his father. He passed the test, and even though it was very difficult for him to lie, he did it.
How does Isaac react when he realizes that Jacob has deceived him? He is extremely frightened, and he feels sorry for Esau, but do we find that he in any way rebukes Jacob? No. In fact, Isaac blesses Jacob again before he leaves to Laban's house to find a wife. Not one word of displeasure with Jacob's behavior comes from Isaac. Why not? Shouldn't he be upset a Jacob for tricking him?
The simple answer is that Esau incriminated himself.
Esau cries out that Jacob has taken advantage of him twice, first taking his first born rights, and then taking his blessing. But if he sold the birthright, then how does Esau introduce himself to his father as “I am your son, your first born, Esau” (Genesis 27:32)? He was lying to his father, since he is no longer the first born son! And if the blessings go to the first born, then they belong to Jacob and not to him, because he had sold the rights of the first born to Jacob by oath. Is this how a righteous person treats an oath??
Isaac felt sorry for Esau, and he even says that Jacob took Eisav’s blessings “bimirma” (usually translated as deceit) which Rashi says is “bichochma” – with wisdom, but at the same time he wasn't angry at Jacob, since he had only taken what was rightfully his, and Isaac understood now that this had been totally necessary, and there was no other way to do it. (Genesis 27:35)
But there is more. When Isaac realized that he has blessed Jacob rather than Esau, the verse says that he was overcome by “an extremely great fear”. (Genesis 27:33) Why fear? We could expect regret, anger, consternation, but why such an awful fear?
Again, we need the oral Torah to explain this. The sages of the Talmud say the fear was because for the first time Isaac saw Esau for who he really was. At that moment, Isaac had a prophetic vision of the pit of hell opening below Esau.
Isaac now realized that Esau was very wicked. Until now, Isaac had known that Esau had a difficult character, by nature, but Isaac assumed that Esau was making the best of his nature, and that is all any human being is required to do. We explained this idea in part one, but it will be reviewed again here.
The Talmud says that a person born with a certain type of nature will spill blood. Esau had that nature; he was born to spill blood, but in Isaac's eyes he was using this tendency for good. Firstly, he was killing animals, instead of people, or so Isaac thought. Secondly, he did not kill the animals with a bow and arrow, but rather trapped them and then ritually slaughtered them so that they would be kosher and his father could eat them. (**) Serving food to one's father is a mitzvah. Isaac was also a Torah scholar, and feeding a Torah scholar is like bringing a sacrifice to G-d!
In addition, Esau studied Torah with his father. He was very intelligent, and knew a lot. So all along, Isaac thought that Esau was doing what he should do with his nature - using a bad nature for good things. Suddenly Isaac found out that it wasn't that way at all! Isaac was horrified.
This prophetic vision given to Isaac also explains another point. Why didn't Rebecca tell Isaac the truth? Why resort to trickery?
They had to, because they realized that if they could see who Esau was, and Isaac, also a prophet, could not, it was clear that G-d was deliberately hiding this from Isaac. And if G-d wants to hide something, how could they reveal it?
In conclusion, did Jacob do anything wrong at all? Surprisingly, the oral Torah implies that he did. Many years later, when Mordechai the Jew finds out about the decree of extermination Haman, a descendant of Esau, has made against the Jews, he lets out a “great and bitter cry”. (Esther 4:1) The Talmud says that this is because Jacob had caused the “great and bitter cry” that Esau cried, when he found out that he had lost the blessings to Jacob. (Genesis 27:34)
Furthermore, Jacob now had to flee for his life, which meant he had to leave his parents and the holy land. The Talmud actually compares Jacob's need to flee from his home, to the exile of an unintentional murderer, who must flee to a special city to be safe. (Midrash Tanchuma 1 on Vayetse)
But what is Jacob's sin? How is he an accidental murderer?
The Sfas Emes’ commentary says that Jacob should have tried to get Esau to repent, by becoming his good friend. Jacob didn't do this, because he wanted to keep far away from someone whose very essence was deceit. But Jacob was somewhat wrong, because he really didn't need to fear being influenced by Esau. Anyone else would have been right to keep their distance from Esav, but Jacob’s very nature was truth, so he didn’t need to be afraid of being ruined by this connection.
So Jacob's sin was unintentional, but it was a sin. And it seems that at some level, Jacob really should have cared more about Esau.
These comments indicate that there is no attempt to whitewash Jacob. Where he did wrong, even slightly so, he gets blamed, and has to face the consequences. Jacob's sin was unintentional, he actually meant well, which is why G-d protects him. Nevertheless, it was a sin, and still needed to be atoned for.
In spite of his traumatic family life, he nevertheless continued to show great deference to his father, even marrying new wives (sic) that were more to his father's liking. (IYH note: he married a new wife, not new wives. Genesis 28:9 )
When Esau next sees Jacob, he doesn't kill him. He doesn't assault him. He doesn't rob him. Instead he tearfully reconciles with him!
To get back to Esau, he was furious with Jacob, so furious that he wanted to kill him. But, as you point out, he wouldn't kill Jacob until after their father’s death, out of respect for his father Isaac. Isn't that respectful of Esau?
But pay attention to the exact words. Esau is thinking: “The mourning for my father will draw close, and I will kill Jacob”. Why doesn’t he simply think, “When my father dies, then I’ll kill Jacob?” Why does he use the words “draw close”? (Genesis 27:41) Because he wants the mourning for his father to draw close. He wants his father to die already, so he can kill Jacob.
(The translation here is mine, and is clear to anyone reading the Hebrew. Translations which have an agenda might have changed this, as they did in many other places. -Rebbetzin Fastag)
Esau and his new wife:
X writes:
In spite of his traumatic family life, he nevertheless continued to show great deference to his father, even marrying new wives (sic - X) that were more to his father's liking.
The text does not tell us if his parents liked the new wife. The Oral tradition says that unfortunately, the new wife (X, please note that there was only one) was not to his parent’s liking. (Genesis 28:8) Although she was Esau's first cousin, a granddaughter of Abraham through his son Yishmael, she was wicked. It was important to Isaac that Jacob marry a woman from his mother’s family, and not a Canaanite, because he would be the father of G-d’s people, and the evil Canaanite traits were so deeply embedded in their progeny that even a relatively good Canaanite woman would carry these traits into the foundation of the Jewish People. After the era of the forefathers and foremothers it was actually allowed to marry a Canaanite convert, so long as it was clear that they were 100% sincere in their conversion. But in Eisav’s case this none of this was an issue, since Esau was not founding G-d’s people. It wasn’t pedigree that concerned Isaac and Rebecca, it was the behavior of Esau’s wives, who openly worshipped idols. Esau himself at least tried to hide his idol worship.
And despite the fact that his wives were causing very great distress to his parents, Esau did not divorce them or try to stop their overt idol worship. (Genesis 26:24-35) His mother says that they cause her so much pain that she can’t stand her life. (Genesis 27:46) Does Esau care? No. He leaves the situation as it is.
When Esau next sees Jacob, he doesn't kill him. He doesn't assault him. He doesn't rob him. Instead he tearfully reconciles with him!
[There is no indication that Esau's men were soldiers.]
Again, let’s look into the verses and see what they tell us.
Jacob returns to his homeland after 20 years, with a large family. He sends messengers to Esau with the news that he’s coming back, and lots and lots of gifts to pacify him. The messengers return with the news that Esau is coming with 400 men. If these 400 men are not there to help Esau attack Jacob and family, then what are they there for?
We see very clearly that these 400 men were a very major threat, because when Jacob hears that Esau is coming with 400 men, he is very frightened and divides his family into two camps, saying that if Esau will strikes one camp at least the other will survive. He then prays to G-d to save them. (Genesis 32: 8-13, and 33:1-2). So these men must have been soldiers, otherwise why is Jacob so frightened and preparing for war?
Then Esau has a change of heart. What caused it? Is it Jacob’s subservient attitude? Is it the gifts? Or is it a response to Jacob's prayer, a miracle from G-d to save Jacob and his family? It seems that it is all these things.
X writes:
After that emotional reunion, Esau wants to join Jacob's clan. Jacob says he's moving a little more slowly and he'll catch up to Esau later. Esau graciously offers to lend his workers to Jacob. Then Jacob ghosts him and never shows up at the meeting place.
Suddenly Esau is acting very nicely, wanting to accompany Jacob. But Jacob does not want any accompaniment from Esau. He doesn’t want his family to be in Esau's proximity. Evil people are not only dangerous physically, they are dangerous spiritually. So yes, Jacob “ghosts” him and doesn’t show up. Jacob consistently wants to keep his distance from Esau, because Esau is wicked, and as the sages said, “Don’t become friendly with a wicked person.” (Ethics of the Fathers 1:7). Even if Jacob himself, at one point, really should have tried to befriend Esau in order to get him to repent, now he had to protect his family.
According to the Midrash, there is an exception to this rule. Jacob hid his daughter Dina because he was afraid Esau would want her. In this, the Sages say he did wrong, because had Dina married Esau, she could have gotten him to repent. Yet they do not say that Jacob was wrong for “ghosting” Esau and having the rest of the family keep their distance. Had that been wrong, then the Sages would have pointed that out as well, so obviously he did right there.
Last we see Esau, he shows up to bury his father, in spite of Jacob's presence there, and needless to say, does nothing negative at that time to Jacob.
Why should he do anything negative to Jacob at this point? Esau sees that he actually has more possessions than Jacob, and that Jacob has acted subservient to him, so Jacob’s taking the blessings hasn’t hurt him. (Esau didn’t realize that the blessings were for the future nations that would descend from them.) Since he is now very well settled, wealthy, respected, and powerful, he has no reason to be angry at Jacob.
Furthermore, as Esau aged, he wanted to be respected as a great religious leader, the eldest son of Isaac. Killing Jacob wouldn’t have suited the image he was trying to build for himself.
But most important of all, the hearts of human beings are in G-d’s hands, and G-d has promised to protect Jacob. Although generally G-d gives people free will, if this interferes with G-d’s plans, He may suspend that free will in a particular area or for a particular time. G-d made Esau see things in a way that he would not want to kill Jacob.
Esau’s “goodness” then, is really G-d’s miracle. Had it not been for this miracle, Esau would have truly killed Jacob.
I love the tabloid comparison- eisav is full of messy drama and I am here for it!
Did not know that Rebecca was a prophetess! Thanks for teaching me something new!!