Part 1: Isha Yiras Hashem Takes Care of Her Teeth

Dentists and Alligators, 1/4. A Toothsome Adventure, in Four Parts

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Introduction: "Dentists and Alligators" is "A Toothsome Adventure", which will be published in four parts. Enjoy!

Part 1/4: Isha Yiras Hashem Takes Care of Her Teeth

Part 2/4: Isha Yiras Hashem and Co. Visit Florida

Part 3/4: There Really Are Alligators Everywhere In Florida

Part 4/4: Gatorland

Part 1: Isha Yiras Hashem Takes Care of Her Teeth

Thank G-d, I have pretty good teeth, but every so often, they require a lot of work. This time, the dentist said my teeth needed five fillings.¹ Also, a crown needed to be replaced.² Not fun.³

Getting dental work done is almost as bad as watching a movie. It's uncomfortable, and it's boring.⁴ They expect you to keep your mouth wide open, and wait for a very long time. When they finally let me talk, I explained that I'm better at human conversation than I am at pretending to be an alligator. Which sparked the following conversation.

(Isha Yiras Hashem is in dental chair. Dentist and dental assistant are present.)

Isha Yiras Hashem: Unlike me, alligators would be really good at sitting here with their mouth open for long periods of time. They do it naturally. Have you ever seen an alligator in real life?

Dentist: Of course! I'm actually a Florida native.

Isha Yiras Hashem: Amazing! And you're a dentist! Can you tell me the difference between an alligator’s teeth and a crocodile’s?

Dentist: Beats me. Let me Google it.

Isha Yiras Hashem: Then you probably won't have an opinion about whether the plague of frogs in Egypt was really crocodiles, even though it's a minority opinion?⁵

Dentist: Probably not, no.

Isha Yiras Hashem, turning to the dental assistant: I am shocked and disappointed. Don't you think that a DENTIST from FLORIDA should know the difference between alligators and crocodiles?

Dental assistant, politely: Where are you from?

Isha Yiras Hashem: The place I am from has neither crocodiles nor alligators. The truth is, I recently saw alligators, in their natural habitat, for the first time ever.

Preview for Next time:

Part 2: Isha Yiras Hashem and Co. Visit Florida, and There Really Are Alligators.

Preview: As you know, I only travel to atone for my sins.⁶ And I had recently atoned for some of my sins, by traveling to Florida.

To be continued…

1. Not praline chocolate, which is my favorite kind of filling.

2. And not because I'm a holy princess, as per Modesty Song 2.0.

https://ishayirashashem.substack.com/p/a-song-about-modesty

3. Really not fun. But at least I'm having Fun With Footnotes.

4. Especially when they drill. Pun intended.

5. אבן עזרא: "והמפרשים נחלקו במלת צפרדעים, ורבים אמרו שהוא מין דג נמצא במצרים יקרא בלשון ערב אלתמסח, ויוצא מן הנהר וחוטף בני אדם. ואחרים אמרו, כי הם הנמצאים ברובי הנהרות שמשמיעים קול, והוא הנכון בעיני, והוא

Translation: the ibn Ezra thinks “tzefardea” might have been the Nile crocodile, but pretty much everyone else agrees it was regular frogs.

6.