Day 8/8: Boris Is Punished By Fire And Quits Smoking

Day 1/8: Boris The Terrible Infiltrates Ohr Somayach

Day 2/8: Boris Is Inspired By the Greeks And Fixes The Dreidels

Day 3/8: The Latke-tostraphe Of Intermittent Fasting

Day 4/8: Boris Hellenizes The Chocolate Coins

Day 5/8: Boris Tries To Be A Feminist

Day 6/8: The Power Of Local Government

Day 7/8: Other Attempts To Sabotage Hanukkah

Day 8/8: Boris Is Punished By Fire And Quits Smoking

After his disastrous experience with getting to know his local government, Boris gave up trying to ruin Hanukkah itself. But maybe he could do something with the leftover wicks, oil, and candles. Preferably something extremely horrible and diabolically evil.

He had learned that traditionally, used wicks and oil from the menorah are not kept for the following year, as they might inadvertently be used for profane purposes.¹

Naturally, the word “profane” caught his eye. Boris loved thinking about profane things.

Boris, having found yet another sinister angle, hatched a wicked plan. He urged the folks in Chelm to bring their leftover wicks and oil to his store, promising to recycle them for 'other' purposes. They assumed he meant other, as in similar, purposes, but really he was referring to the forces of spiritual impurity - the ‘other’ side.

This almost worked, because so many people had forgotten this important law. But Boris really wanted to be as profane as possible. So he took his time, while he tried to think of ideas. Meanwhile, the pile of leftover wicks, candles, and oil sat in his shop.

Boris was addicted to smoking cigarettes. One day, Boris's plan took an unexpected turn, when he accidentally dropped his cigarette into the pile. It burst into flames.

He was forced to call the fire department to help him extinguish the fire. The ensuing chaos resulted in another meeting with the bemused fire chief. This time, Boris couldn't escape her lectures about fire safety on Hanukkah.

This incident served as a stark reminder to Boris about the importance of safety and responsibility, especially when dealing with flammable materials. As the embers smoldered, he made a life-altering decision - he would quit smoking.

Boris's plan to quit smoking was solid, but he couldn't resist one last puff on his fig leaf cigar. While he never wanted to think about Hanukkah again, he resolved to refocus his energies on more appropriate pursuits, like plotting to sabotage other Jewish holidays. The fig leaf cigar had reminded him that Tu Bishvat was coming.

Thank you for reading! Pray for more light in the world!

🕎🕎🕎🕎🕎🕎🕎🕎

1. Ohr Somayach:

Left over wicks and oils should be destroyed after Chanukah (except for unused oil left in bottle) since they may not be used for anything else. One should not store the used wicks and oil for the next year, since there is a probability that it will be used for profane purposes by accident.

https://ohr.edu/1304

Ohr Somayach Institutions www.ohr.edu