Sea Monsters In Florida

(4/4 dentists+alligators)

Leer en Espanõl

Part 1/4: Isha Yiras Hashem Takes Care Of Her Teeth (Espanõl: Dentists Caimanes)

Part 2/4: Isha and Co. Visit Florida (Espanõl)

Part 3/4: There Really Are Alligators Everywhere In Florida (Espanõl)

Working link: https://ishayirashashem.substack.com/p/there-really-are-alligators-everywhere

Part 4/4: Seeing Sea Monsters Safely

What do two sea monsters say to each other?

(Image: Ever wondered what two sea monsters might say to each other? If you cannot see the picture, email me for the joke at IshaYirasHashem@gmail.com. At the bottom, there is a verse¹ from Genesis 1:21, when on day five of creation, “G-d created the Taninim - the great sea monsters”.)

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Preface: What is a sea monster?

‘Taninim’ is the hebrew word for sea monsters, like alligators and crocodiles. Sea monsters are large, frightening creatures. They are found in water, near land, as well as on land, near the water. You can find them in zoos everywhere, except in Florida, where you can find them everywhere, period.

Safely Seeing Sea Monsters in Florida

As you may recall, we started out talking about dentists and alligators.² We were talking about this, because my family narrowly escaped being eaten by fearsome alligators in their native habitat.³ This did not dissuade anyone, except myself, from wanting to see more alligators. In fact, they all seemed delighted and thrilled at the idea.

Child1: Guess what! We saw real live wild alligators, in a pond!

Child2: Please please please can we see the alligators????

Me: I am a responsible mother. You are only going to see sea monsters in a secure setting.

As a former New Yorker, I noticed a very important difference between New York and Florida when it comes to managing the presence of sea monsters. While there might be stories of alligators in New York's sewers, they remain elusive and rarely seen.⁴ ⁵ In Florida, however, potentially dangerous, man eating predators roam freely.⁶

Ultimately , we compromised on a place called Gatorland. Gatorland is a popular tourist attraction filled with large, man-eating reptiles, who are safely fenced in.

Gatorland was not cheap, perhaps because it was designed to be more secure than anywhere else in the state of Florida. One friendly staff member had reassured me about the park's safety record. She proudly mentioned that, in her seven years at Gatorland, no one has been eaten by an alligator or crocodile.

Not even a single one of their millions of visitors. This comforting statistic made Gatorland sound like a safe place to visit.

Gatorland lived up to its name. There were an abundance of alligators. Many of the alligators were piled up in heaps, like mounds of greenish leather laundry, basking lazily under the Florida sun. Child1 aptly labeled this as a "mega snuggle of alligators."

(Image: a mega snuggle of alligators, according to child1 (pics from canva)

Like Egypt, Gatorland also had crocodiles. This reminded me of a famous poem⁷ about crocodiles, written by a British mathematician:

How doth the little crocodile
  Improve his shining tail
And pour the waters of the Nile
  On every golden scale!

How cheerfully he seems to grin,
  How neatly spreads his claws,
And welcomes little fishes in
  With gently smiling jaws!

Regrettably, the consensus among the children was that Gatorland involved too much waiting on lines. Waiting on lines makes even dangerously exciting sea monsters seem mundane and boring.

Meanwhile, Child2 had found a small tree, encircled by a little wooden gate. In their vivid imagination, that humble tree had magically transformed into a majestic boat. This imaginative child was joyfully captaining their 'boat’. This was not at all what we had in mind when we paid the admission fees for Gatorland.

Previous family trips have had the same result; no matter where we go, invariably the kids’ favorite part is playing in the rocks and dirt.

Thankfully, the park was teeming with small lizards. Unlike waiting in long lines, spotting lizards brought us immense joy. The thrilling experience of catching the quick, skittering lizards near the benches quickly became our preferred activity.

Cheerfully holding a small lizard, Child1 informed me that humans might be the biggest things crocodiles eat.

He looked a little too pink. I offered him a drink and some sunscreen.

Child1: Don't bother. I will just wipe it off as soon as you put it on.

(Isha Yiras Hashem hoped that cute pink children do not look especially delicious to alligators. )

Towards the end of our Gatorland adventure, they had goats. You could buy food to feed the goats. I inferred that we were really feeding the alligators, indirectly. Consider that Gatorland doesn't sell goat milk or cheese. Happily, we all adore feeding goats.

All my family wants, out of any trip, anywhere, is a place to dig and goats to feed. Surely that labor can be useful to a farmer somewhere. Especially when they get older. We fed the goats for a long time.

Gatorland turned out to be a tolerable experience overall. The children delighted in digging in the dirt and chasing lizards. Many species of fire ants were discovered and handled. Astonishingly, no one suffered a single sting. While we are now⁸ convinced of the existence of alligators and crocodiles in Gatorland, our doubts about the existence of fire ants remain intact.

1. Genesis 1: 21

2. Part 1/4: Isha Yiras Hashem Takes Care Of Her Teeth (Espanõl: Dentists Caimanes)

3. Part 2/4: Isha and Co. Visit Florida (Espanõl)

4. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sewer_alligator

5. Like myself

6. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Florida_Man

No offense intended to Florida or Floridians.

7. Alice in Wonderland

8. Part 3/4: There Really Are Alligators Everywhere In Florida (Espanõl)